Ring Pie
by Arandil
Summary: I am just so very bored at work. This is what happens. I start singing a song and then voila! A crappy parody.


Sitting at work bored out of my mind as usual.

I do not own any of LotR, nor do I own the song American Pie. I did this purely for fun and self-amusement while the minutes of my life tick away in this stupid cubicle.

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A long, long time ago  
Some can still remember the Alliance between Elves and Men  
They had success at Dagorlad  
They made the evil Sauron mad  
But vanquished he was there and then  
But still Isildur kept the Ring  
He couldn't yield that evil thing  
But it did betray him,  
Some Orcs they came and slayed him  
The Ring was lost, the memories fade  
The path towards the future laid  
And the Dark Lord, his time he bade  
The Ring was not unmade.   
Oh... 

One Ring, how much grief it does bring  
Brought a Fellowship together  
But their strength is failing  
If they succeed, then Middle Earth will all sing  
To the Age of Man and hail to the King  
That will be the time of the King.

Now there lived in the lake town  
A small creature with his hair all brown  
Smeagol was the name he gave  
He and his friend, they found a Ring  
He killed his friend so he could take the thing  
And went and lived deep in a mountain cave  
Well along came Bilbo on a quest  
He went to Gollum as a guest  
He took the Ring and fled  
Gollum went right out of his head  
Bilbo went back home with all he'd gained  
But when his years of life did wane  
He gave to Frodo Isildur's Bane  
The Ring still not unmade.  
Bilbo was singin... 

One Ring, how much joy it does bring  
Still, I'm one hundred eleven  
And my strength is failing  
So I go live with all the Elves and I'll sing  
To the Age of Man and hail to the King  
Soon will be the time of the King.

Now for many years Frodo kept it hid  
What Gandalf said to do he did  
But that's not what the Ring did want  
When the Wizard heard of the evil scheme  
He put together a Hobbit team  
But a voice filled Frodo's ears with a taunt  
Oh and while the wraiths were looking round  
For the Ring that wanted to be found  
The Hobbits went to Bree  
Then to Rivendell they flee'd  
And while Elrond held the council wise  
They met all of the other guys  
And Elrond said amid the sighs  
The Ring must be unmade.  
They were singin... 

One Ring, how much power it brings  
All the faces of the races  
Showed their inner failing  
They all succumbed to the will of the Ring  
Not listening to Elrond or the King  
No they didn't heed the words of the King.

They sneered and jeered, but Frodo volunteered  
Then around him eight more appeared  
Eight more to form the Fellowship  
And they traveled o'er the land  
All tried so hard to withstand  
The ring taking them into it's grip  
There were Hobbits, Men, an Elf, a Dwarf  
And a Wizard who guided them forth  
All of them fought so hard   
But with blood the land was scarred  
Oh as the group broke into several parts  
The Son of Gondor broke our hearts  
The words he said as he departs  
The Ring must be unmade.  
The rest were cryin... 

One Ring, how much pain it does bring  
Brought a Fellowship together  
But now we are dying  
If Frodo fails, we can forget this whole thing  
There will be no Age of Man and no King  
Sauron will harm every living thing.

And no longer all in one place  
The hunters started on the chase  
After the Hobbits across the plains they ran  
They fought the Uruks at Helms Deep  
While Fangorn, no longer asleep  
Took care of Isengard and Saruman  
Oh and as Frodo and Sam pressed on,  
They came across the creature Gollum,  
He tried to be their friend  
On him they had to depend  
And as the Nazgul flew high in the air  
Frodo and Sam were almost there  
But of Gollum's scheme they were unaware  
The Ring, it called to him.  
He was singin... 

One Ring, how much pleasure it brings  
Hobbitses they stoles our precious  
But we sees it glinting  
It will be ours, and then for all time we'll sing  
To the precious, to our precious, our Ring  
It is certainly the most precious thing.

They met a girl who swung a sword  
She killed the Witch King and saved her lord  
But still he died anyway,  
They all marched on the Black Gate  
Chins held high, accepting Fate  
Strength of Man would surely uphold on that day  
And on Mount Doom the Hobbits cried  
The Men fought hard, at last allied  
But unless Frodo did well  
They were all going to hell  
And as Frodo could not let it go  
Gollum bit his finger off, and lo  
He fell into the fire below  
The Ring had been unmade  
And they were singin... 

One Ring, how much grief it did bring  
We are glad they have destroyed it  
Aragorn is now King  
But now all of the Elves are fast departing  
Their own power being tied to the Ring  
What a double-edged sword was this thing.  
They were singin...

One Ring, how much pain it did bring  
But the Elves are headed westward  
Every one is leaving  
And with them Dwarves and Hobbits they sometimes bring  
Leaving Middle Earth to Men and the King.


End file.
